Just days after the seismic announcement of “Hackney Diamonds”, the Rolling Stones’ first album release in 18 years, Mick Jagger has sent shockwaves through the music industry by declaring he’s quitting the band, citing “creative differences”. In a ‘can’t get no satisfaction’ moment that has left fans gasping, the rock luminary revealed that he is trading his ‘Stones’ legacy to tread the vibrant paths of K-Pop with none other than the global sensation, BTS.
“It’s time to bring in some a dash of sultry Korean lyrics to my portfolio,” Jagger proclaimed in a recent press conference, not faltering in his legendary swagger. Sources close to the singer reveal that Mick has been fervently learning Korean, promising fans a ‘Sympathy for the Devil’ meets ‘Dynamite’ fusion that the world never knew it needed.
While some Stones and BTS fans have “mixed emotions” about the new collaboration, other fans around the world are excited, as Jagger hinted at his “new moves like Jagger”, combining BTS’s signature choreography with his iconic rock and roll gyrations. “It’s like I’ve got the ‘moves like Jagger’… again!”, Mick gleefully stated, before demonstrating a hybrid moonwalk-gangnam style step, proving that you can always ‘Start Up’ anew, no matter the age.
“The BTS boys have warmly welcomed me into their fold. We’re like a band of brothers, ready to rock the world with a ‘You got me rocking’ energy that’s never been seen before,” Jagger continued, referencing his hit song in an impassioned speech that left not a single dry eye in the room.
As for the other members of The Rolling Stones, Keith Richards and Ronnie Wood, sources say they are “shattered” with this sudden departure, grappling to make sense of this monumental shift in rock history. Although the Stones may have played together for “the last time”, Keith and Ron did send Mick a “We love you” message and wished him well. Meanwhile, the world waits with bated breath to witness the magic that this eclectic blend of ‘honky tonk women’ meets ‘boy with luv’ will manifest.
In a heartfelt message to his fans, Mick Jagger pleads, “Don’t get angry with me,” referencing the Stones’ latest single, emphasizing that his newfound passion for K-pop simply cannot be tamed. As for the future of the Rolling Stones, insiders whisper that they might just find another frontman, but dedicated fans fear it might very well be a case of “It’s all over now.”