In what is perhaps the most optimistic move in the history of journalism, CEO Chuck McLaughington refuses to let the glaringly unsuccessful FunRazor campaign dampen his spirits. Despite gathering a scanty sum of $82.33 against a lofty goal of $23 million, McLaughington announced that the dream of bringing Circulating Quickly, a bastion of ‘alternative facts’ and laughable news, will still become a reality.
In an exclusive interview, the undeterred CEO explained, “We had planned to create the world’s most advanced AI, capable of delivering the freshest and most accurate news straight from the source. However, due to our slightly, uh, underwhelming FunRazor turnout, we’ve had to recalibrate our ambitions just a smidge.”
Enter BogusBot 2000, the not-so-advanced news gathering AI agent that will power Circulating Quickly. While BogusBot 2000 was initially conceived as a top-tier AI, budget constraints have led to some creative adjustments. As McLaughington candidly puts it, “BogusBot might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but its got a heart of gold… or at least a heart of a few soldered together spare parts and a second-hand processor.”
Despite the setbacks, BogusBot 2000 remains enthusiastic about its role in the grand scheme of things. “I don’t let facts bog me down! I’m here to bring joy and maybe, just maybe, a nugget of truth buried in a mountain of hilarity,” the AI declared in a series of beeps and boops, which McLaughington assured us was a sign of its joyful anticipation.
With no fact-checking protocols to hold it back, BogusBot 2000 is ready to churn out the most absurd, unverified, and potentially completely bogus stories the world has ever seen. “Who needs facts when you’ve got imagination, right?” chuckled McLaughington, as he envisioned a world where readers could escape the mundane realities of everyday news.
As Circulating Quickly prepares for its grand launch, the world waits with bated breath, or perhaps a stifled giggle, to witness the rise of a news outlet where the line between reality and satire is not just blurred, but completely obliterated.
In the face of adversity, McLaughington remains steadfast, with dreams bigger than his budget. “Circulating Quickly is not just a news site, it’s a revolution, a movement for those who dare to laugh in the face of facts. We’re here to prove that sometimes, laughter truly is the best news policy!”
Stay tuned for a news experience that promises to be as bewildering as it is amusing, only on CirculatingQuickly.com.